Hotmail sux, part deux

If this works (read: if I suck less than I think I do) I will be able to post the picture of Hotmail hatin' on the Banana, which Irshkate has managed to fix for me.

I have also learned a few new facts about her secret identity, but I will keep them. Like Lois Lane to Batman... no... wait.... well, whatever.

Here's Hotmail hatin' on me:

SONOFABEECH!

Does anyone know how to enlarge a photo on this site without f*ing it up? I've tried to post a really funny picture TWICE now, but it's always too small!!

My thorax brings all the boys to the yard...

So, I have a thing about my thorax.

Frankly, it freaks me out that I have one. Thoooooooooorax. It sounds like something you'd find on a bug... CAUSE IT IS. Ewww. I don't know why, but that freaks me out. I don't want to share bug bits. I think this all stems from one episode of "Crossing Jordan" where "bug" the entymologist talks about how he didn't believe in G-D until he saw the thorax, and that was so beautiful, it convinced him that a G-D did exist. Dude. Fucking EW! Can't we call it something nicer? I know that sounds lame, but I really don't want to have to tell people that my thorax is hurting, or I pulled a muscle in my thorax. That sounds like those pinchy bits that ants have. My thorax. Step the fuck off, bitch, or I'll pinch you with my thorax. I really don't know why this bothers me.

Along the same lines, and moving upwards in the body from my thorax, we reach my forehead. Right after my husband had married me (ha ha! too late! deal's sealed now!) I turned to him in the car and asked: do I have an appropriately sized forehead.

If you ever want to see your husband's head explode like a pinata with candy flying everywhere, ask him that question. "Do I look fat in this?" No, of course not! "Do you still fing me attractive?" Yes, of course I do! These are all amateur hour questions. When you really want to see what you're husband's made of, ask him, "do I have an appropriately sized forehead?" and then refuse to answer any of the inevitable follow up questions. "It's a simple 'yes' or 'no' thing, honey," and then watch them sweat.

I actually do have problems with my forehead. I go back and forth on whether or not we're friends. True, it holds my frontal lobes in, and for that I'm thankful, but as foreheads go, we're just not talking excitement city here. It just does the basics, I feel like. Skin? Check. Skull? Check. Fuckin lazy, man. I don't know. I guess it handles the space between my eyebrows and hairline ok. I just feel like it's not as sexy and provacative as some foreheads can be, you know? I want a really sexy forehead... how do I get me one of those?

Warning: Zombies ahead!

I *love* zombie films and books. I almost freaked when I saw Haikus for Zombies at B&N. For those of us interested in appreciating zombies in all their brain-chewing charm, I thought we could start here. Didn't I hear something about a Pride & Prejudice & Zombies suggestion?

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