Oh look, more stuff!

In my effort to save money for a month-long world trip, I have been reading up on travel; where to go, what to do, what *not* to do (pesky Mexican water!), etc. I thought I would share one of the funnier things I've read in a while. It's called a "found poem," because the author used words from outside sources to make it, in this case it's from a language phrase book the author had.

"Trials of a Tourist" does not belong to me, but to Annie Tibble of whom I am a HUGE fan, and I highly encourage people to seek out her work and enjoy! Behold: Trials of a Tourist.

It is three o'clock in the morning.

I am in a hurry.

I will have some fried fish.

It does not smell nice.

Bring some coffee now - and some wine.

Where is the toilet? There is a mistake in the bill.

You have charged me too much.

I have left my glasses, my watch and my ring, in the toilet.

Bring them.

Porter, here is my luggage.

I have only a suitcase and a bag.

I shall take this myself.

Be very careful with that.

Look out! The lock is broken.

Don't forget that.

I have lost my keys.

Help me close this.

How much do I owe you? I did not know I had to pay.

Find me a non-smoking compartment, a corner seat, facing the engine.

Put the case on the rack.

Someone has taken my seat.

Can you help me to open the window?

Where is the toilet?

I have left my ticket, my gloves, and my glasses in the toilet.

Can they be sent on?

Stop! I want to get off again. I have got the wrong train.

Who is speaking?

Wrong number!

I don't understand you.

Do you speak English?

I am an Englishwoman. Does no-one here speak English?

Wait. I am looking for a phrase in my book.

My bag has been stolen.

That man is following me everywhere.

Go away. Leave me alone.

I shall call a policeman.

You are mistaken. I didn't do it.

It has nothing to do with me. I have done nothing.

Let me pass. I paid you enough.

Where is the British Consulate?

Beware!

Bring me some cottonwool.

I think there is a mistake in your calculation.

I do not feel well.

Ring a doctor.

Can you give me something for diarrhoea?

I have a pain. Here.

I have pains all over.

I can't eat.

I do not sleep.

I think I have a temperature.

I have caught a cold.

I have been burnt by the sun.

My skin is smarting. Have you nothing to soothe it?

My nose is bleeding.

I feel giddy.

I keep vomiting.

I have been stung by sea-urchins.

I have been bitten by a dog.

I think I have food-poisoning.

You are hurting me.

I shall stay in bed.

Bring me some Brandy-please.

Help!

Fire!

Thief!

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